Monday, August 31, 2015

BIP 8/30 live feed

Back in AA=mooching off friends with cable. Thanks, Katie (and thanks for the beer)

Still a day late even though I watched it on time, BIP 8/30 live feed

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Joe is 29 lol I don’t know why that’s so funny right now

Why is Kirk wearing a tie

Katie just pointed out that Sam looks like the Evil Queen in Snow White and I can’t unsee

Joe seriously needs subtitles

Never will get over Carly’s tiny hands


Justin is like “lol now what”

When Joe knows every season Chris has been on #fangirl

Amber takes off Justin’s shirt in the middle of the dance floor to reveal THE WORST SUNBURN OF ALL TIME

Amber y u crying girl

Chris looks like The Situation from Jersey Shore

Chris is frat dad

Chris double fisting #welcomeweek

That ad for Bachelor casting was SALT IN THE WOUND

“Can I talk to you?” is code for “Follow us, cameras”

Oooooh Amber wants Dan to know she feels bad for going out with Justin but Dan wants her to know he don’t give a shit

Why does everyone like Tenley?

“I’m flattered you would ask me, but I wouldn’t let you kiss me” SAVAGE Tenley

Josh has the widest shoulders ever

Can Josh just take Chris’ take card? Can you do that?

I hate Josh and Tenley together…..and separate

“Never trust a Mexican when he says it’s not spicy” I have actually learned this in real life

Josh and Tenley just ate all day on their date. This is my dream date

Dan out of NOWHERE likes Sam? I’ve defended Dan through everything he’s done so far, but this I cannot defend nor respect!!!!

Only 1 guy is going home and it’s clearly going to be Chris…I think?

Ashley I writing Jared a note is so me (and Rachel Green)

“This is the best way I can communicate without crying” well that’s certainly not false

Amber approaching Jared about her rose?! Plot twist

Ashley I talks about Jared’s face so much

Can’t really tell Amber’s intentions by talking to Ashley I about this

When Sam says it’s love at first sight with Joe….LOL

A guys tries to warn a girl that Joe is shady is the plot of every episode this season

Joe tries to distract Sam from Dan by kissing her in some plants

Sam actually thinks her and Joe’s relationship will continue after BIP. Sad

I wonder if Kirk and Carly will ever break up this season

Are Nick and Ashley S really a thing though? Just because of that one drunken day???

Jared looks defeated 100% of the time

Amber is scorned af, there was no way Dan was getting that rose

IS SAM GOING TO PICK DAN? OMG

Joe is about to set this little tiki hut on fire with his pure rage

“Joe’s the villain in this situation” pot, meet kettle

They said only one guy is going home tonight and that guy is Joe….but….what happened to Chris

Tanner just compared Sam to a praying mantis in the same context that JWoww described herself as a praying mantis on the Jersey Shore intro #tbt

I can’t listen to Dumb and Dumber argue anymore gahhhhh

You gonna show the texts or nah

Joe drinking a beer in the limo is me

No, I cannot see any of Sam’s texts on your blurry ass phone, Joe

Carly says what everyone is thinking point blank: “Samantha sucks”

WAIT, Ashley S actually said it better: “Samantha? What the fuck are you doing here?”

“She’s like a dead bird to me”
—me about my enemies

Dan hardly knows Sam and is already comparing their relationship to Carly and Kirk’s. Ouch

Carly is such a mastermind

TBT to Carly popping bottles of champagne when Kelsey got kicked off of Chris’ season (not to be confused with Chelsea)

This montage of Jared reading Ashley’s letter defines their relationship

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And so the Sam and Joe saga ends. Really was hoping Joe would be the one to send Sam packing, but at this point, WHO CARES. I’m really interested to see how tonight’s episode goes….Ashley I might want to take Jared to the fantasy suite to persuade him away from Amber, but given that Jared has already told her he doesn’t have feelings for her, it would be pretttttttty out of character for him to sleep with her. So how is there a possibility that she’s pregnant? Maybe because she’s a ~virgin~ she also doesn’t know how one gets pregnant??? The anticipation of seeing what occurs is bothering me more than it should! (Side note: no tweets this week because I don’t have wifi and this is difficult enough as is. I know, I’m disappointed too)

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