The Bachelor week 8 (2/22)

I have so many things to do before I leave for Ireland on Friday (!!!!!!!) but I have zero motivation to do anything besides lie in bed and flip through “damn Daniel” memes on my phone.

Things I’m putting off to watch The Bachelor
—studying for 2 exams on Wednesday
—working on a group project my partner already thinks I’m slacking on
—working on another group project all 3 of us are slacking on
—working on a project worth half my grade I have to present as soon as we get back from break
—packing
—every other responsibility in my life

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Recipient of the Teen Mom comment + the Laguna Beach location ON The Bachelor is like reality TV inception

Ben is not ready to be a dad and I think everyone except Ben knows that

Is Ben crying within the first 5 minutes

Charli: absolutely do not touch me, peasant

I don’t hate Ben’s affinity for short shorts

Amanda what’s up with the gladiator sandals on your toddlers

Ben has the dopiest laugh I luv him

Where’d those flowers come from

When Ben pronounces it “seaGALs” :///

Hey Amanda’s parents, was Amanda ready to be a parent either

Shit my brother just called me and I’m simultaneously listening to him, the TV, and typing this with my left hand

How scared would you be if you were Ben and meeting 4 dads this week (dads only, a charmer like him is clearly not scared of moms)

Why is Ben the greatest kind of human

They’ve said like 3 different locations, where actually are they?? Portland, OR?

So Lauren “loves butter” but is the tiniest girl on the show/in history kk

WHISKEY LIBRARY??

Your drinks are both full, why would you leave now

Wtf Lauren has an 18 year old dog

I hate when people shorten “Lauren” to “Lolo.” I'm allowed to say that because my name is Lauren.

So Lauren’s parents are yuppies and no one is surprised

Lauren and her sister have the exact same voice

Me: he is not saying enough about Lauren omg
*sees he’s crying*
Me: OMG MORE THAN ENOUGH

Haven’t been single that long??? Uhhhh tell me more

“Ben is my person” idk don’t say that

Lauren’s dad is jealous of the other dads

Where’s her mom

Lauren’s dad has happy person eyes

Ben’s goodbye to Lauren was….odd

Caila doesn’t have any connection to her “hometown” so all she can say is good things about Warsaw

Caila: I know things about you!!! Like your favorite color!!!!!!

Caila talking to the camera about all the places she wants to make out with Ben is just NO

This is the weirdest date

Caila’s dad looks like he’s made of wax

Caila’s mom: have u ever met Filippino people
Ben: um

What the fuck is Caila’s dad

Does Caila’s mom have braces

Caila’s mom: what makes what’s between you and my daughter special
Ben: it’s been cool
Caila’s mom: ?
Ben: sex panther

Caila is definitely the kind of girl who still calls her parents mommy and daddy

Caila’s mom’s reaction to her saying she’s in love tho

If you didn’t believe me before this week that Caila is fake and corny I hope you do now

WAIT JOJO THINKS THIS IS FROM BEN? LOL

If that was me I’d whip those stupid flowers across the room

Uhhhh I think calling ur ex is NOT the right move, the right move is always ignoring ur shitty ass ex

SAY YOU’RE DONE WITH HIM

Ben, repeatedly: what’s wrong
Jojo, repeatedly: welcome to Dallas

Ben is already so insecure he doesn’t need another man in the picture to scare him

Thank you for calling him???? UMMMM no?????

Is this Jojo’s own house or what, this place is hella nice

Jojo’s “I love you” was weird and awkward

Stop kissing your sister that much

Jojo’s mom’s plastic surgery tho

People from Texas are so weird about Texas. Why are you pressuring Ben to move to Texas

Whose sweater is worse, Ben’s or Jojo’s brother’s?

Jojo’s brothers are the kind of guys who would start a bar fight

Am I terrified of Jojo’s brothers or their noses

What ethnicity is Jojo’s mom

What ethnicity are Jojo’s mom’s eyebrows

What is wrong with these guys? Do you guys want to date your sister??

Jojo’s brother: you can appreciate it from our brotherly perspective
Ben: I’m an only child so

Jojo’s mom standing in the glass doorway watching Ben and Jojo >>>>>>

Lauren you look v plain for such an important rose ceremony

Killer pocket square, Ben

WHAT? CAILA?

This music is like the music from Intervention

Tbh I think he wanted to send Caila home but it was the kids

She’s got a point about the rose ceremony

Watching Ben choke up hurts my soul

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With the exception of Jojo (?!?!?!), a fairly predictable episode.

I’m sad to see Amanda go, but it was fairly obvious from the get go that the kids situation was not going to work out. Although I think Ben really liked Amanda as a person, he knew it was unfair to let her go any further when deep down he knows the whole dad thing is just not the next step. Sad.

Lauren’s date was predictably predictable, too. Here’s the realization I’ve come to: I love Lauren, but I don’t know why. Is it the producer’s way of depicting her that has tricked me into being obsessed with her? How obvious it is that he likes her? Some combination of both? I’m not sure, but in truth, she’s kind of boring. She doesn’t have any stand out characteristics, or if she does, she hasn’t shown them on the show. She’s chill as hell and nice and genuine but…..is that really enough to be able to confidently say you love someone? Not really. 

As much as I don’t like Caila, even she has a more defined personality than Lauren. Frankly, I was too weirded out by her parents to focus on anything happening with Ben. Add in her creepy way of talking with her parents, their toy factory date, and the cheesy way every one of her expressions is played out for the camera, and I’m beyond done with her. If Caila makes it to the final 2, that will be the biggest plot twist of the season.

And if she doesn’t, Jojo’s ex boyfriend ~Chad~ will be the biggest plot twist. My jaw absolutely dropped during that whole scene. I’ve been in Jojo’s position, and it really is as frustrating and upsetting as she made it seem. Her reaction is what I would consider normal. What I personally don’t think is normal is to then call him. The best way to send the vibe that a bouquet of flowers means shit to you is to not bother acknowledging them. Was calling him the result of some goading by producers? Most likely, but I still find it to be the wrong move. As for Jojo’s brothers, HUH? If their goal was to make themselves look like assholes who have some weird fetish for their sister then congrats, you succeeded. While it’s understandable to be skeptical of how someone could possibly be in love with such little time with someone (they’re certainly not the only family members to express this sentiment on the hometown dates), they came off as grown ass frat bullies. I vote no on Jojo purely because who could deal with that family for in-laws????

Next week….FANTASY SUITES!!!!

Internally, I’m panicking because I’ll be abroad and unable to watch :( If the plot twist of the season DOES occur, I’ll be sooooo mad I wasn’t able to find out at the same time as everyone else. Other than that, I just hope the details of the episode can stay unspoiled until I get to see for myself..what fun is the format of this blog if I already know what happens? I’m not entirely sure when I’ll be able to watch next week’s episode or when the blog will be posted, so keep your eyes peeled!