The Bachelor week 9 (2/29)

24 hours late but I’m watching this week’s episode!!! (Tbt to BIP when I watched all the episodes on Hulu the next day. Mems.)

Before you ask,
1. My flights were good. All flights are the same. Except the ones that get severely delayed or end up at the bottom of the ocean.
2. Yes, I’ve had beer here in Dublin. It is good.
3. Dublin is cool. It rains a lot. I haven’t taken many photos.
4. Shelby is good. I’m glad to see her <3

Ok now on to why we’re really here.

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I need them to stop using the word love in this preview bc my fragile heart can’t handle it

Ben uses the phrase “overnight dates” instead of “fantasy suites” lol

“Caila is so smiley all the time” yep that’s my main complaint with her too Ben

I cry when I see Lauren and Ben

I can only pray one day I’m as beautiful as Lauren

Caila is potentially the corniest contestant ever

How high up do you think Jojo ranks in the “worst home town dates in Bachelor history”

Lmao Ben climbing that wall just so he can awkwardly sit on it alone. I bet he did that on his own with no producer encouragement

Ben saying him and Caila’s relationship is the deepest of all 3. Interesting considering you’re 100% sending her home

“This is very Jurassic Park” shut up Caila

Do you think this Jamaican man rowing them down the river has any idea what’s going on

Caila is literally such a boring human

I’m not going to pretend that a restaurant in the middle of a river isn’t weird but I’m also not saying I wouldn’t get down on some jerk chicken after a long rowboat journey

This date is so forced

Sandals???? Is everything on this show a paid ad now?? IS NOTHING SACRED????

Those “mmm” noises Caila’s making while she kisses Ben can stop

“And that is……….that I’m in love with you!” CORNIEST OF ALL TIME

Caila: I mean Ben doesn't have to say he love me back bc I know he does
Caila: But like I kinda wish he said it back
Caila: *smiles*

I see you guys making out but I think we should all be slightly concerned by how close those fireworks appear to be to the window

Stop trying to make “I love you” happen, it’s not going to happen Caila

Oh yeah I totally wear knit tops in Jamaica too

THIS DATE IS LIKE “THE LAST SONG” OMG MUCH ROMANCE MANY TEARS

This turtle date is approximately 758 times cooler than whatever I just watched him and Caila do

Ben just prayed for the turtles omg RIP 2 me 

All of Ben and Lauren’s conversations consist of “I missed you” and “you’re an incredible woman”

Lauren’s outfit tho

“I wouldn’t have introduced you to my family if I wasn’t invested in you” well you probably would have, because you’re on a TV show that forced you to

I would totally use the fantasy suite time to talk all night with no cameras around, not to have sex

Ben's smile when Lauren says she loves him……ooooo god

Stop I’m crying all these feelings I don’t know what to do with

Wait hold on is it common for the Bachelor/ette to tell a contestant they love them before the finale?? I know Kaitlyn did, does everyone??

“There's like a bunch of horses in the water”

I want to go cliff jumping under waterfalls with Ben too

Both girls cry when Ben says he loves them back. I have so many emotions

Not a fan of Jojo’s use of the word “babe”

Ben has also exceeded all of my expectations

I just dozed off during their dinner date. Zzzzzz bored

This jacuzzi thing is sweet af. Almost as sweet as Ben’s tiny bathing suit

How do you think Caila will feel watching this episode where he tells the other girls he loves them multiple times when he chose to ignore her multiple times lmao

I would love it if Jojo stopped saying “words of affirmation”

I <3 Ben’s sleepy eyes

Ben: it’s so weird that I love two women
Ben: also weird that there’s actually three women here wow

Caila makes me want to drop a chainsaw on my face

(That was intense but she’s such a damn dope)

Ok I do feel bad for her having to hear this though

Nope her reaction just made me lose that sliver of sympathy

“I really did love you *sob*” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Jumping out of the car, classic move

Caila crying=whimpering puppy

There’s no tears coming out of her eyes 

If Caila is the next Bachelorette I am abandoning this show

Ok but what’s the point in even having this rose ceremony

Ben: hey I have 2 roses here
Ben: I wonder which of you will get them

Both Jojo and Lauren are banking on the fact that Ben told them he loves them…ha ha

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Again, a fairly predictable episode but I’m not complaining.

Caila is a cheese covered cornball incapable of real dialogue and gimmick-free dates.There was no doubt in my mind that Ben would not pick her over Lauren or Jojo, but I liked the twist of sending her home before she even got to the rose ceremony. It always feels so much more urgent, like “I can’t possibly allow you to stay in my presence any longer, please kindly get the fuck out of my mansion/hotel suite/private island.” I’m sure Caila will be fine though. I’m pretty sure a job as a Price is Right girl is calling her name.

When it comes down to the final two, I genuinely don’t care who he picks. I’ve been hoping all along he actually chooses no one at the end, but apparently Ben went on live TV today and told everyone’s engaged so I guess that’s shot. I’ve known Lauren and Jojo would be the final two since Las Vegas. I like both girls, and they both have their drawbacks as well. I’m just confused as to how he’s going to pick. He told them both he loves them and they seem to be on the same level as of right now. 

Personally, I think he should pick Jojo. I think he acts more genuine around her, and their relationship has actually grown much stronger throughout the weeks. Ben even said he’s head over heels for Lauren because he thinks she’s out of his league, and has been infatuated with her from day 1. I’m not saying that Bachelor relationships have a tendency to be long lasting, but I think him and Jojo at least have the potential to last longer than him and Lauren. That’s not to say I prefer Jojo over Lauren, I’m just speaking ~realistically~….a word not often heard on this show.

Next week is the best episode of every season: the Women Tell 

All. Hype af for some Lace highlight reels, attacks on Olivia, and serious questions hurled at Ben. Not so stoked for the return of Jubilee and subsequently the rage I feel for her existence.

See you all next week when I’m back on U.S. soil and Michigan snow…..ew.