The Bachelor week 4 (1/25)

This morning in class I realized that the month of February is going to be my most stressful month this semester. Just a few minutes ago I realized February is next week.

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Why is everyone "exhausted" all they do is sit around

Cool flannel buttoned up all the way to the top, Olivia

Not gonna lie I’m disappointed in humanity that Vegas is the marriage capital

Totally forgot Emily and Haley work in Vegas...LOL

When the girls see that sign they’re like the definition of Woo Girls from HIMYM

They supposedly just arrived yet they all already have wine

Can you imagine all the endless free wine you want???

“Zen with Ben”

Somehow I just don’t see how Manwich and the Bachelor go together

Weren’t the twins 22 at the beginning of this?

Jojo looks at Ben like he just puts the stars in the sky

OMG HAHAHAHAHA EVERYTHING ABOUT THE OVERTURNED COCKTAIL TABLE SITUATION

Olivia: I’m not threatened by any one on ones
*4 minutes later*
Olivia: This is really hard to watch :(

After last week I think Jubilee needs a break and should sit out of the group date

Fuming bc Becca

I know I’ve been pulling for Lauren B but I’m obsessed with Jojo

Idk 5 months isn’t that long if they really hurt you that bad

Ever wonder how long the dates actually are? Like how much more is said that we don’t see?

“FUCK” 

—Emma on my couch watching the fireworks

That beautiful shot of Ben and Jojo making out in front of the skyline right as Olivia says “They’re probably making out”……well done, producers

Honestly have never noticed Ben’s nose

Lauren from Ann Arbor you dumbass when has there ever been nudity on this show

Ummmm guess who spent 15 years performing onstage? I would win this talent show hands down

So they just happen to have a cello there for Jubilee

I highly doubt Olivia has a secret talent

Lauren from Ann Arbor looks like she’s going to vomit. She must suck

Olivia in this costume is embarrassing to my soul

Idk what “bam shabam” means

Caila has a bomb body

“In it to twin it” ://

The twins may be able to Irish step dance but I can tap dance AND do flips so I still would win

I am feeling INTENSE secondhand humiliation for that chicken suit and joke……

OLIVIA WOULD JUMP OUT OF A FUCKING CAKE

AND DANCE THE LEAST SEXY DANCE IN HISTORY

PLEASE NEVER SHIMMY WITH THAT FACE AGAIN

OR WALK LIKE THAT

Olivia is such a try hard. I would feel bad for her if I didn’t hate her

Olivia realized a little too late what she just did

I really don’t need Oprah yelling “I LOVE BREAD” at me

I would also be mortified if I were Ben

What about jumping out of a cake in a showgirl costume to impress someone DOESN’T scream marriage material?????

Ben saying “you look so gooooood” would be creepy if it were anyone else

“I’M JUST GONNA GO FOR IT” *attacks face*

Ben just used the phrase "sex panther" and I feel ?????

Well quiet confidence is definitely better than whatever Olivia has

“I have like, hives” no you're just blushing from pure embarrassment 

Shut the hell up Lauren from Ann Arbor was NOT THE CUTEST GIRL OF ALL TONIGHT

This puppet thing is weirding me out. She just kissed a fucking puppet

Ben: Like it wasn’t bad at all

Ben: I mean
Ben: Yeah actually it was pretty bad

Olivia staring into the camera while biting her finger for a full 30 seconds is something I never needed to see

Lauren B and Ben definitely have the closest thing to an actual relationship so far

Aw I feel bad for Emily for having her time interrupted

….until she said “have a good one”

Ben getting annoyed with how apologetic Olivia is

Literally just screamed YESSSS when he said Lauren B <333333

Olivia……stop…..you can’t honestly think your time with him was “valuable”

Let’s place bets on which twin goes home if only one does. Odds are pretty good *lolz*

“I would love to marry Ben on my first date” I mean wouldn’t we all

Um the nasty comments are unnecessary, Jubilee. Bitch

Ben: Uh so I got ordained….lol

Ben prepares to marry people by stretching his hamstrings. Kk

Wow how sad would you feel if there was no one but 3 strangers and a camera crew at your wedding

Hearing Ben recite these vows is like wow much too emotional for me I need to lie down

Ben has a church voice. He definitely reads passages at church

I feel incredibly uncomfortable watching that Asian couple share their first kiss

Ooh a full moon, Yasmeen taught me that’s a good sign for a new love

Hold up tho this sign graveyard thing is AWESOME

LOL @ Ben describing that Becca didn’t give a shit when Chris was about to propose to her

Ughhhh Ben talking about religion is like the one thing I wouldn’t really be able to relate to (forgive me, Father, for I am the worst Catholic)

I am not ok with Ben and Becca discussing their possible marriage 

*drives the twins home*
*leaves them there*

So they both live with their mom still??

Ugh I want Ben to meet my mom

It was kind of Ben not to send one of them home from the rose ceremony….I guess?

Ugh I wish I was at this cocktail party in Vegas right now

“There’s our boyfriend!” Not wrong but still awkward

Ben has looked increasingly annoyed with Olivia tonight

Cake??????

Here we go with the ~secret language~ again

Was that his eyes lighting up or was it fear?

“I’m falling the fastest! I’m winning!” 

—Olivia

Second time Caila has aggressively attacked face tonight

I literally would love for Ben to build up my confidence like that

Jubilee got almost no air time this week but still managed to make sure it’s known she’s complicated!!!!!

“ALL EYES ARE ON ME!!!”
—Olivia in 5 words

If Lauren from Ann Arbor could make it this far imagine how far the real one would get

I am so scared of Olivia

Olivia reads a lot of romance novels. That explains a lot

Ben looked so reluctant to give Olivia that rose…..he SIGHED

Don’t worry, the odds of Amber being back for BIP are preeeeetty good

Damn the camera just caught everyone watching Amber as she walked away bawling lol ouch

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YESSSSSS!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am soooooooo happy the conversation surrounding Olivia is finally going to make its way back to Ben next week! After begging and groveling for affirmation, Ben is pretty clearly annoyed that Olivia isn’t able to just be herself. I’m so excited that next week she’s finally going to do something shitty enough that the women feel it necessary to say something. Beyond ready for this.

Really the only other thing worth discussing from this episode is that painful “two on one date” that was actually just a nicer and more cost efficient way of sending Haley home. I don’t know if it was painful to watch because she just got dumped, because one of them (honestly don’t even know which) had framed pictures of her ex everywhere, or because Ben and Emily laid horizontally on a bed in their mom’s house like 7th graders and called it a date. Likely a combination of all 3.

Also, it looks like Ben finally finds Jubilee’s “I’m so difficult and complicated, love me but don’t” act unappealing and although I’m not entirely sure what was happening with Lauren from Ann Arbor in that preview, things don’t look good. All my dreams are coming true!

(Except for actually being there. That dream is still not coming true. Sigh.)