Q: Am I emotional after being reunited with The Bachelorette after 2 weeks, or because we’re one week closer to Bachelor in Paradise?
A: Both
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Remember how Jojo was supposed to send Alex and James Taylor home but didn’t
I also feel really unsure and confused about your hair+plaid hoodie combo, Alex
Really disappointed this episode is starting with a one on one with Alex. Two thumbs down
The guys should always have a guy date while the others are on the actual date
Except the guy dates should always exclude musical numbers, I’m fucking sick of this season
Eating junk food in the back of a car is hella romantic
Wow this one on one thus far in the car is absolutely cringeworthy, Alex is terrible
Alright I’m going to be honest and say I did not know gauchos were more than a type of hideous pant
Old man: I did not choose the gaucho life, the gaucho life chose me
What the FUCK is that hat
He looks more Shakespeare than gaucho
^me acting like I know what gauchos look like after I just said I didn’t know what a gaucho was
They’re eating cow intestines !!! @madisonvanepps
Jordan just looks like a picky eater. Like a mom still cuts the crust off his sandwich little bitch boy
Horses are not romantic to me, horses are terrifying and could easily kill u
I’m uncomfortable with how Alex is sitting on that horse
What is this man doing to this horse, I want this to stop
This is not beautiful, it looks like the beginning of horse rape
Jojo is enjoying cuddling the horse much more than she’s enjoying the presence of Alex
I could not cuddle as many guys as Jojo does in this show
Sure Luke, because you’re such an expert on polo clubs
Most importantly there is a dog on the one on one!
I deeply hope Alex is sent home during this date
Second one on one for Jordan? It seems like his 5th
Oh I definitely think Alex would get along with Jojo’s brothers…
I’m getting too good at this show
Alex is such a doucher. “I’m falling in love with you” to angry about being dumped real quick
Omg Mendoza Valley, I talk about there at work all the time like I know things about wine
(Did u know the wines from the higher altitude in the valley are of better quality because the grapes at the bottom of the valley get all the runoff rain???)
This is just making me think Jordan has a thing for feet
Stop don’t drink the foot juice
Sickening
Jordan is so fake
Hmmmm how does Jojo know the names of all of Jordan’s family members already..?
Is Jordan dragging Aaron Rodgers right now
Like bye Jordan, you’re clearly the inferior Rodgers so you can go shave your back now
All that food looks fucking terrible
This actually looks like the most fun Bachelor date ever
There’s no way Robby isn’t gay
The 4 of them hanging out in the bed look so cute and comfy
Deep down I knew that date was only happening in the hotel room because it was raining
Where does Robby get his spray tan done
It took 1 hour and 17 minutes for Chase to get air time
Do you think Chase’s family has better personalities than he does
Deep down James Taylor knows he is the next to go
Does Robby really think he’s doing better than Jordan
Oh shit bruh maybe Robby’s right
I really need Chase to show some emotion, this is getting frustrating
THERE IS SERIOUSLY NO WAY ROBBY IS STRAIGHT AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS
Everything about Luke bores me
Sorry but at this time in the world pls do not try to romanticize guns for me
Yeah no I’m tuning Luke out
I’m pretty sure Luke’s teeth are fake
That car looks like a hearse. Bad omen
“My whole life is riding on this” alright that’s excessive
I fully support Jordan’s name not being called first
Zero suspense in that choice
Alright low key feel bad for James Taylor
This is like weirdly sad for a goodbye on The Bachelor(ette)
I can tell that James is a genuinely good person and that’s why this is sobworthy
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This episode was quite frankly so pointless. Alex and James should’ve gone home last week. Tonight was just a waste and prolonging the inevitable. Yawn.
On a pleasant note, I’m pleased to say my top 4 prediction was right! On the downside, I have no idea where it goes from here. I mean, it feels likely that she’ll pick Jordan, but I don’t honestly know, partly because I have faithfully avoided spoilers, and partly because this really feels like anybody’s game at this point. Except maybe Chase. Idk.
Next week is my FAVORITE week of the whole season though: hometowns!!!! Hometown dates are so revealing. I’m not saying your hometown and your family define who you are, I’m just saying hometown dates *on this show* can 100% make or break your ~relationship~ Who could forgot Jojo’s mom chugging wine straight from the bottle or Jojo’s brothers going hardcore frat bro on Ben? These are the in-laws you’ll have to pretend to get along with in People magazine and at your televised wedding if you win, so it’s like, a prty big deal. Jordan dropped some serious familial bombshells (did you forget his brother was Aaron? Me too), and hearing who appears to be Robby’s sister throw him under the gossip bus should be wildly fun. As for Chase and Luke’s visits, I’m just curious to see who raised such boring humans.
Until next time!
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