The Bachelor week 8 (2/22)

I have so many things to do before I leave for Ireland on Friday (!!!!!!!) but I have zero motivation to do anything besides lie in bed and flip through “damn Daniel” memes on my phone.

Things I’m putting off to watch The Bachelor
—studying for 2 exams on Wednesday
—working on a group project my partner already thinks I’m slacking on
—working on another group project all 3 of us are slacking on
—working on a project worth half my grade I have to present as soon as we get back from break
—packing
—every other responsibility in my life

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Recipient of the Teen Mom comment + the Laguna Beach location ON The Bachelor is like reality TV inception

Ben is not ready to be a dad and I think everyone except Ben knows that

Is Ben crying within the first 5 minutes

Charli: absolutely do not touch me, peasant

I don’t hate Ben’s affinity for short shorts

Amanda what’s up with the gladiator sandals on your toddlers

Ben has the dopiest laugh I luv him

Where’d those flowers come from

When Ben pronounces it “seaGALs” :///

Hey Amanda’s parents, was Amanda ready to be a parent either

Shit my brother just called me and I’m simultaneously listening to him, the TV, and typing this with my left hand

How scared would you be if you were Ben and meeting 4 dads this week (dads only, a charmer like him is clearly not scared of moms)

Why is Ben the greatest kind of human

They’ve said like 3 different locations, where actually are they?? Portland, OR?

So Lauren “loves butter” but is the tiniest girl on the show/in history kk

WHISKEY LIBRARY??

Your drinks are both full, why would you leave now

Wtf Lauren has an 18 year old dog

I hate when people shorten “Lauren” to “Lolo.” I'm allowed to say that because my name is Lauren.

So Lauren’s parents are yuppies and no one is surprised

Lauren and her sister have the exact same voice

Me: he is not saying enough about Lauren omg
*sees he’s crying*
Me: OMG MORE THAN ENOUGH

Haven’t been single that long??? Uhhhh tell me more

“Ben is my person” idk don’t say that

Lauren’s dad is jealous of the other dads

Where’s her mom

Lauren’s dad has happy person eyes

Ben’s goodbye to Lauren was….odd

Caila doesn’t have any connection to her “hometown” so all she can say is good things about Warsaw

Caila: I know things about you!!! Like your favorite color!!!!!!

Caila talking to the camera about all the places she wants to make out with Ben is just NO

This is the weirdest date

Caila’s dad looks like he’s made of wax

Caila’s mom: have u ever met Filippino people
Ben: um

What the fuck is Caila’s dad

Does Caila’s mom have braces

Caila’s mom: what makes what’s between you and my daughter special
Ben: it’s been cool
Caila’s mom: ?
Ben: sex panther

Caila is definitely the kind of girl who still calls her parents mommy and daddy

Caila’s mom’s reaction to her saying she’s in love tho

If you didn’t believe me before this week that Caila is fake and corny I hope you do now

WAIT JOJO THINKS THIS IS FROM BEN? LOL

If that was me I’d whip those stupid flowers across the room

Uhhhh I think calling ur ex is NOT the right move, the right move is always ignoring ur shitty ass ex

SAY YOU’RE DONE WITH HIM

Ben, repeatedly: what’s wrong
Jojo, repeatedly: welcome to Dallas

Ben is already so insecure he doesn’t need another man in the picture to scare him

Thank you for calling him???? UMMMM no?????

Is this Jojo’s own house or what, this place is hella nice

Jojo’s “I love you” was weird and awkward

Stop kissing your sister that much

Jojo’s mom’s plastic surgery tho

People from Texas are so weird about Texas. Why are you pressuring Ben to move to Texas

Whose sweater is worse, Ben’s or Jojo’s brother’s?

Jojo’s brothers are the kind of guys who would start a bar fight

Am I terrified of Jojo’s brothers or their noses

What ethnicity is Jojo’s mom

What ethnicity are Jojo’s mom’s eyebrows

What is wrong with these guys? Do you guys want to date your sister??

Jojo’s brother: you can appreciate it from our brotherly perspective
Ben: I’m an only child so

Jojo’s mom standing in the glass doorway watching Ben and Jojo >>>>>>

Lauren you look v plain for such an important rose ceremony

Killer pocket square, Ben

WHAT? CAILA?

This music is like the music from Intervention

Tbh I think he wanted to send Caila home but it was the kids

She’s got a point about the rose ceremony

Watching Ben choke up hurts my soul

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With the exception of Jojo (?!?!?!), a fairly predictable episode.

I’m sad to see Amanda go, but it was fairly obvious from the get go that the kids situation was not going to work out. Although I think Ben really liked Amanda as a person, he knew it was unfair to let her go any further when deep down he knows the whole dad thing is just not the next step. Sad.

Lauren’s date was predictably predictable, too. Here’s the realization I’ve come to: I love Lauren, but I don’t know why. Is it the producer’s way of depicting her that has tricked me into being obsessed with her? How obvious it is that he likes her? Some combination of both? I’m not sure, but in truth, she’s kind of boring. She doesn’t have any stand out characteristics, or if she does, she hasn’t shown them on the show. She’s chill as hell and nice and genuine but…..is that really enough to be able to confidently say you love someone? Not really. 

As much as I don’t like Caila, even she has a more defined personality than Lauren. Frankly, I was too weirded out by her parents to focus on anything happening with Ben. Add in her creepy way of talking with her parents, their toy factory date, and the cheesy way every one of her expressions is played out for the camera, and I’m beyond done with her. If Caila makes it to the final 2, that will be the biggest plot twist of the season.

And if she doesn’t, Jojo’s ex boyfriend ~Chad~ will be the biggest plot twist. My jaw absolutely dropped during that whole scene. I’ve been in Jojo’s position, and it really is as frustrating and upsetting as she made it seem. Her reaction is what I would consider normal. What I personally don’t think is normal is to then call him. The best way to send the vibe that a bouquet of flowers means shit to you is to not bother acknowledging them. Was calling him the result of some goading by producers? Most likely, but I still find it to be the wrong move. As for Jojo’s brothers, HUH? If their goal was to make themselves look like assholes who have some weird fetish for their sister then congrats, you succeeded. While it’s understandable to be skeptical of how someone could possibly be in love with such little time with someone (they’re certainly not the only family members to express this sentiment on the hometown dates), they came off as grown ass frat bullies. I vote no on Jojo purely because who could deal with that family for in-laws????

Next week….FANTASY SUITES!!!!

Internally, I’m panicking because I’ll be abroad and unable to watch :( If the plot twist of the season DOES occur, I’ll be sooooo mad I wasn’t able to find out at the same time as everyone else. Other than that, I just hope the details of the episode can stay unspoiled until I get to see for myself..what fun is the format of this blog if I already know what happens? I’m not entirely sure when I’ll be able to watch next week’s episode or when the blog will be posted, so keep your eyes peeled!

The Bachelor week 7 (2/15)

Happy (Day After) Valentine’s Day!

The closest thing I had to a Valentine was a date with Katie at Hopcat and my ex-boyfriend superliked me on Tinder.

So now I shall spend time with my real Valentine: Ben

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I’m depressed because I’m not in Warsaw

I think I’m obsessed with Ben’s parents

These girls throwing leaves at each other is the most white girl photo shoot I’ve ever seen

Ben on a pontoon is internally exciting the Michigander in me

I thought at first Warsaw was like Owosso but there are no houses for rent like that at home…..maybe Owosso on steroids

Yeah so Warsaw LOOKS like Owosso but all the buildings are much larger and prettier

If I brought Ben to Owosso it’d be like “there’s my house 15 miles away from civilization, there’s my dance studio where I spent my entire life, there’s my church I never go to, there’s where all the meth houses are”

Hey I’m stellar with kids, I’d kill this date

HELL YEAH RONNIE u fckin baller

Tbh I don’t know who Paul George is but I could get down with Boomer the mascot

When little girls would cry at the dance studio I’d be like ok go sit by the wall idk

“I’d 100% prefer a one on one than a group date” yeah no shit Becca

My girls Lauren B and Jojo swiping up those one on ones

Lauren and Ben are so stinkin cute that it both brings me joy and physically pains me

LOL that that’s Ben’s dive bar….imagine if I took him to Jumbo’s

The girls apparently don’t have a ton of geographical knowledge because they’re currently very close to Chicago 

There’s no reason that Ben would be a Tigers fan but I'm still disappointed he’s not

How ironic that they’re chasing each other around wearing jerseys bc word on the street is Jojo is a huge Dallas jersey chaser lol

Ben: *trots across home plate*
Jojo: *body slams him anyway*

Jojo: what is this

Ben: this is what they call a scoreboard

I feel like Emily is going to go on this one on one and be immediately sent home

Becca: it’s really different this time around because I’m not the obvious favorite ugh

Christian just pointed out that Ben’s sweater+brown blazer combo is very dad-like and I’m not talking DILF :/

Did anyone else see Ben kind of slap Jojo when she said “Mr. Higgins”?????? Uh

“I hope it’s not all flying kites today” why did I laugh so hard

It’s weird that the show now talks about FaceTiming and we see Emily and Ben on their cellphones. This never used to happen/be allowed

Watching Becca struggle to feel something this time when she finally actually WANTS to is hilarious

Similarly to Caila I would also be worried about the impact of taking Ben to my hometown but for different reasons (re: meth houses)

“I picture myself as moss” ok u total weirdo

Ben REALLY wants to meet Amanda’s kids damn

Lmaooooo Ben leaves Becca and Caila in the DUST

Watching Ben kiss Amanda’s neck in the limo just gave me such intense feels

I would not sit there all poised and cry in silence after you leave me in a barn I’m bout to throw some fuckin HAY

Becca’s eyes are a full 2 inches apart

Oh NO Ben does NOT normally go to McDonald’s, that shit does NOT FLY WITH ME!!!!!!

Oh wait this is basically a paid ad. Remember those weird “breakfast or dinner” ads he was in

Thank god, I knew my soulmate would never dig fast food

Amanda was not interested in that Lady and the Tramp moment. Neither was I

This carnival is essentially Curwood. This epitomizes my hometown

BEN’S SCARED OF CARNIVAL RIDES TOO SO AM I

Watching a bunch of children hit Ben with inflatable hammers is a clip I didn’t know I needed to see

Does anyone else get this feeling that Ben is perpetually stuck in high school

It’s ok Ben I peaked in high school too

When Emily doesn’t know what a swan is :///

ARE THEY DRINKING SPIKED CIDER BECAUSE IT’S FALL? ~ROMANCE~

You might be surprised that Emily is going to meet Ben’s parents on this date but it’s because she will not be making it to the ACTUAL hometown dates

I want Ben’s mom to grab my hands like that

The background music is telling me that I feel bad for Emily

Well they’re very anti-young so looks like I would’ve been out immediately

Just kidding I just realized they mean “young” as in “immature with no direction in life”

I feel uncomfortable that all the girls just watched Ben dump her

I know that Jojo and I are on a different level because girlfriend contours her forehead

I hope Caila sends herself home

Plot twist: Ben sends Becca home *fingers crossed*

Damn I’m getting too good at the Bachelor

(^ can I put that on my resume?)

“Why did you do that?” Because someone has to go home Becca stfu

Bets Becca will reappear as The Bachelorette/on BIP?

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If I was into this show before, now I’m SUPER into it, because everything is going according to plan! Or how I hoped, I guess. Because I really had no hand in planning this.

Because we all know that if I had planned this, Becca wouldn’t have even been on the show to begin with. Yes, I know Becca is super sweet and gorgeous and genuine. Don’t get me wrong, I was rooting for Becca on Chris’ season and I was dumbfounded when he picked Whitney instead. And that’s exactly why I wasn’t rooting for her this season: she’s not the girl for Ben. Someone who’s perfect for Chris is not the type Ben should go for. It’s just hard to remember that because Becca makes for such good TV.

After watching Emily’s date, I didn’t feel bad for her so much as I felt straight up annoyed at the missed opportunity. Think of all the things you could’ve said to Ben’s parents to show what an amazing person you are and why you and their ONLY SON THAT IS CLEARLY THEIR WHOLE LIFE would be perfect together. Emily decides to tell them that she’s really average at everything in life, she aspires to be an NFL cheerleader, and her dream life would be just watching movies all day every day? What the actual fuck, Emily. You deserve to ride that pontoon all the way back to Las Vegas. Across the desert. You idiot.

And while I’m happy for my two faves, Lauren and Jojo, after this episode, some interesting rumors have been swirling about them both offscreen. Like I said, it’s apparently “well known” that Jojo is a serial jersey chaser and especially likes hockey players? Not sure how much truth there is to that, but someone motivated by the money and potential fame of a professional athlete would certainly be interested in being on The Bachelor. As for Lauren, apparently homegirl was arrested for public intoxication pretty shortly before being cast. Then again, it also was apparently at Coachella, which frankly I 100% forgive her for—I’ve been publicly intoxicated at more than a few music festivals. In my heart of judgmental hearts, my opinion of Lauren hasn't changed while I question Jojo's character a tad more.

Another fun fact swirling that may or may not be true: apparently Ben was in DU at IU. Take what you will from that point of info.

Swaggy touchdown into ur heart gurl

The Bachelor week 6 (2/8)

Bad news: Amanda and Emma can’t join me for this week’s episode.
Good news: Anna doesn’t have pom practice tonight so we can finally watch an episode together as ~roommates~ for the first time all season. Also, I have wine and Oreos.

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Lol all the girls got asked about Olivia

No Olivia you aren’t being targeted because you got the first 2 roses you’re being targeted because ur giant bitch

“I like reading books and thinking” those are also my favorite pastimes

Ben: why are the girls intimidated by you

Olivia: WHAT WE HAVE IS REAL *cries*

Olivia looks like a baby turtle

The phrase “come at me bro” was already dead but Olivia just murdered it again

NEEEEEEED Jojo’s dress

Hey I’m confused by Leah’s continual existence on this show

I could use a Bahamas trip right now but I guess 40 degrees in February is ok too

Why is Caila acting so excited about fishing

Why the fuck would you curl your hair before you go fishing

It appears Leah is also questioning her continual existence on this show

Ben is ~soOoOoOoO~ hot

I HIGHLY doubt deep sea fishing is one of Ben’s favorite activities 

Leah: there’s no reason for me to be here
Me: nope not really

I don’t know why but I started laughing uncontrollably when they showed Caila fishing

“I could totally see myself with Ben, he’s told me I’m beautiful” oh honey bless ur heart

Caila jumps off the boat and Anna goes “well there goes her hair” HAHA

“So….you smile a lot” gr8 conversation starter

Ben talking about crying and being vulnerable makes my heart leap ugh

I’m confused about what Caila is supposed to be crying on his shoulder about

Lol Caila just comes out and says she’ll probably break Ben’s heart #ok

EMILY’S FACE DURING THE 2 ON 1 ANNOUNCEMENT

Olivia just described Emily as young…..they are both 23

Tbh if someone told me they think they love me but they’re going to break my heart I would be equally confused as Ben

Caila needs to stop this verbal diarrhea

“It’s almost attractive that Caila can be confusing” Ben..............WHY

That majestic swimming pig shot omg

Thank you producers for that shot of Ben’s ass in that mint green bathing suit

I would be scared of the pigs if I were in person but they sure are adorable from my couch

*doggy paddling* “Hey Jojo…how are u doing”

Leah and Jojo are talking but all I can foxus on is the piggy in the background *heart eyes*

I feel like it’s awkward to sit in the water and cry about a guy when he’s like 15 feet away

Leah’s dress is in the window at Verbena currently FYI. Thought about buying it

I’m not sure how that short of a conversation between Ben and Becca could have “really helped them move forward”

That 2 on 1 date card is giving me anxiety

Lauren B is so pretty I want to cry

Can I just say that Ben drinking red wine is v attractive

Waiiiiiiiiiit Leah just planted the seed….

LEAH YOU FAKE BITCH why lie like that

Why is Leah more hell bent on preventing Lauren B from getting a rose than getting one for herself

Lol Amanda spitting truth about Leah while caressing Emily’s arm

Leah: Ben doesn’t know anything about me
Leah: *spends entire time in his suite talking about someone else*

This boat ride looks nice and romantic

Olivia is so tacky. Is it possible for dialogue to be tacky?

LOL Emily correctly predicting that Olivia is spending the entire time talking about how great she is

“Deep intellectual things are my jam” :///

Olivia is like “I said I love you I’m winning fuck u Lauren B I’m winning”

OH MY GOD HE’S SENDING OLIVIA HOME

EMILY THINKS HE ISN’T BUT HE DEFINITELY IS

There’s a “but…” here

“I don’t think I can reciprocate those feelings” OH HOT DAMN MY FRIENDS

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

Olivia’s like ha ha ok see you at rose ceremony tho!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHA Olivia just watches Emily accept her rose from across the beach

My favorite part about this series is when the person who gets dumped on the two on one date gets stranded in a remote location

I’m like slightly concerned Ben is going to launch himself off this cliff into the ocean

Omg Ben just referred to his “light at the end of the tunnel” which is how I described what my tattoo means to me at the casting call….uggggghhhhhh

I can’t believe Lauren B actually thinks she’s going home over the first negative thing he’s heard about her that he already sent someone else home over

Yo Lauren from Ann Arbor is finally going home 

*drains Franzia box in celebration*

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Wow, talk about a crappy vacation. I think the only happy person tonight is Emily.

BESIDES ME!!!!!!!!!

Like nearly everyone, I didn’t know I hated Leah until tonight, because I had forgotten she existed. Never have I ever in a single episode so quickly had a bounty on a girl’s head. Even though I die a little every time Ben says Lauren B's name, I am fiercely protective of her and I don’t want some dumb nobody who everyone had forgotten was still on the show to jeopardize Ben and my favorite contestant. You know what they say: talk shit, get kicked off The Bachelor. (Or whatever.)

AND…..BYE LAUREN FROM ANN ARBOR!!!! You stayed 6 weeks longer than you should have. Considering you weren’t supposed to be there in the first place. Take ur chicken suit and LEAVE!

Also I live half a block from a party store so I’m seriously contemplating buying a bottle of shitty $6 sparkling wine simply so I can pop the bottle in celebration of Olivia’s departure (much like Carly after Kelsey was sent home from her two on one with Farmer Chris and Ashley I #tbt). Finally we can stop focusing our attention on this psycho attention seeking canceled weirdo and get back to the girls who aren’t (probably) producer plants.

Additionally, I just want to thank the producers for the beauty that is the two on one date. The awkwardness, the realization that it is not at all a date, the way they always leave the loser stranded in a remote location while the other 2 leave in some unique method of transportation. It is all so utterly made for TV and it absolutely warms my cold dead soul.

In some ways, I feel like I *should* address the preview of the second half of the season, but I simply can’t. I don’t want to talk about the way Ben crying makes me feel…or the way him telling not 1 but 2 girls he loves them…..or how he has a ring. Tbh I wish the season would just end right now because I can’t emotionally handle the rest of it. I might be pathetic.

The one thing from that preview I will address though is this Bachelor 20 thing next Sunday! Personally I haven’t been a fan of the Bachelor franchise for very long, so some of the older contestants will mean literally nothing to me. But this little shindig is exciting because a) Ashley I makes her return and b) TANNER AND JADE ARE FINALLY GETTING MARRIED!!!!!

I’m leaving this week so joyous that I know it can only go downhill from here. Reality [TV] bites.

The Bachelor week 5 (2/1)

This is the best Monday ever. I got to be Chief Justice in mock SCOTUS oral arguments this morning (and even though it was randomly selected I had hella self importance), had class with Hot Prof today, I’ve eaten countless Oreos, my first class tomorrow was canceled, and now I have wine + the Bachelor. Life is good, my friends.

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Yeah I spoke too soon on the life is good thing bc the IOWA CAUCUS IS INTERRUPTING THE BACHELOR

Honestly I should be watching the Iowa coverage for class with Hot Prof anyway

Omg we didn’t miss anything, bless you ABC for knowing your [dumb] audience

I don’t want Ben or anyone to say Viva Mexico again

Going on the Bachelor would be fun if only for traveling and staying in nicer hotels than you’ll ever be able to afford filled with endless wine

Idk how or why Olivia thinks Ben doesn’t “validate” anyone else in the group

Frankly I think I would cry for my ugly soul every time I had to be in the same room as someone as pretty as Amanda

Wait the girls have to share beds?

“Whose weave is this???”

Jesus christ Amanda WOULD look like that in the morning fml

The most Michigan accent just came out of Lauren from Ann Arbor’s mouth

(Do I have a Michigan accent???)

Ben is all about the air transportation

He’s so nerdy, I’m so into it

Amanda’s so pretty but then this helium voice comes out and idk

If it were possible to drop-kick myself in response to Lauren from Ann Arbor’s one on one you know I would

Drink if you’ve also been cheated on by a garbage dude *glug glug glug*

When the girls from Cali, Nevada, and Texas don’t know any Spanish :////

Jubilee is such a dumb bitch 

Apparently Olivia missed the part where he said the exact same phrases to every other girl

No one considered the fact that whoever gets Ben as their partner would have an “unfair advantage”? This show, man

I love when everyone talks about Olivia’s breath

It must be awkward when the 2 girls that have one on ones that week hate each other and have to spend the group date time together alone in the house

“The Spatchulor”

Look at Ben’s burnt bread lmao

Jubilee acting like she’s the only one who wishes she wasn’t on a group date lol get over yourself

I need Jojo to stop saying “my taco”

“It looks like dog food” HAHAHAHAHHA

Yeah Jubilee but little do you know the one ready to get married is Lauren B not u

Hey is anyone surprised Olivia got Ben alone before he even finished his sentence

Jubilee is so dramatic and poopy

Lauren B in that all white outfit makes me regret those countless cookies today

Jubilee finally admits she hates being overshadowed. That’s code for “drama queen”

Honestly at this point I hate Jubilee more than Olivia

OOOOOOOH HE’S NOT CONFIDENT IN HIM AND JUBILEE NOW

Ben slapping Jubilee with some TROOF (truth)

Hey if Ben sent her home right now as they sit on this stupid couch I’d be so down with it

SHOT THE FUCK DOWN

*happy dance w mouth full of wine*

Ben looks so horrendously awkward walking her out and I am just soaking it up

Did anyone else just notice the bottom right of the screen said “Saying adios is never easy….”

Ben just sitting in the dark crying

I don’t even know the girl who just said she was nervous about not having time with him yet tonight

Why is Ben even bothering to tell the girls Jubilee was intriguing

Lol Jojo is like “hey I really don’t care if Jubilee left but can I talk to you”

I feel like Jojo is me. If I were any of these girls I wouldn’t be Lauren B I’d be Jojo

(I mean obviously I’m always Lauren B but you get what I mean)

In what way does Olivia deserve that rose? What?

God damn it I hate Lauren from Ann Arbor

Remember how she was on the campus snap story this weekend? Did anyone happen to see what bar she was at???

I really dig Ben’s Mexican outfit

Lauren from Ann Arbor is the type of girl who says “holy shoot”

Had to look away when they took tequila shots tbh

SHE’S SO BOOOOOOOORING

Drink if you’ve been cheated on by someone with your friend *gluggggggggggggg*

No lie I’m a walking female stereotype when it comes to relationships, I belong on this show

Either Lauren from Ann Arbor is drunk af or she’s pigeon toed

Hey I’m in love with Ben, just thought everyone needed a reminder

I’m obsessed with Jojo’s dress, I need that for date party

Awkward silence to the Teen Mom comment

I’m really confused why Olivia is the one crying after that incident

We’ve decided tonight that we love Emily bc she reminds us of Emma

Olivia sniffing her rose and saying “Ben” is this season’s equivalent of Joe’s “gimme that rose” on BIP

Aw Emily talking about being bullied is cute and sad

Wait I feel like Emily updating Haley on what happened tonight violates the confidentiality agreement

Amanda just says “her” assuming Ben knows she’s referring to Olivia

WAIT STFU IT’S 9:58 DO NOT DO A TO BE CONTINUED

DO NOT DO THIS TO ME PRODUCERS

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Ok like I know I should be happy with this episode BUT I’M NOT.

Yes, I’m so happy Ben’s not a total moron and sent Jubilee home. That honestly took 2 episodes longer than it should have and I’m not bothering to even give it any more discussion than this. Bye bitch!

But FIRST OF ALL, the fact that a significant amount of the episode was dedicated to Lauren from Ann Arbor is not alright. She’s annoying, not a compelling human, and I still can’t get over that “Ben wants a wife who can get along with all the other soccer moms” comment.

AND SECOND OF ALL, when an episode ends with “To be continued”, I come VERY CLOSE to throwing my wine at the TV because quite frankly this show plays with my damn emotions more than Olivia manipulates the house. I might be crying.

And I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but in case you’ve forgotten: in the season preview after the first episode, there’s a clip of Ben and Olivia sitting on this cliff thing by the water, where Olivia explains the situation and Ben says it actually sounds like she’s the victim. That scene hasn’t happened yet, so this cocktail party convo doesn’t end a la Jubilee.

But maybe that cliff scene will end a la Farmer Chris and Kelsey, meaning Ben hops into a helicopter and leaves Olivia stranded on the cliff.