The Bachelorette week 2 (5/30)

Happy Memorial Day y’all, and screw you to everyone who is enjoying the lakes of Northern Michigan with a beer in hand.

My day off was not terrible, however. I took my mom to the peony garden in the Arb (did you know peonies only bloom for 2 weeks out of the year? Neither did I, but Peg certainly did.) I also took her to Afternoon Delight for the first time and we got fro yo before we both headed home to Owosso, if not mostly because I might suffer heat stroke if I spend another night this week in an apartment without AC. Also because every time I go more than 3 weeks without seeing my dog I lose 65 days of my life #UberFacts

It’s pretty hard to drink wine, pet Ollie, and type at the same time but I’m a gal of many talents.

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Sad that Jojo and Ben didn’t work out still

“I need that one on one” I love when the guys get into it lol

Piss off, Chad

What kind of nonsense is this limo situation

Isn’t one of these guys a firefighter 

Alright this is dumb and overly sexualized I’m not into it

Yeah that guy is definitely a vampire

Chad: those guys are the B team because I am not there

Those lights are really pretty omg

Chad is an embarrassment to society

I sincerely hope he didn’t actually pack protein powder

Poor Evan, he does not like these fiery situations

The guy who is ACTUALLY a firefighter is on this date I feel like this is unfair

(How embarrassing if Grant doesn’t win though lol)

Ugh the promo tells me I’m supposed to hate Robby but I luv him

Literally nothing about swinging an axe at a board is attractive to me

I hate how this show pits guys against each other in physical challenges…..ur not less of a man just because you’re tired and dehydrated, it’s ok

I’m kind of with Chad on this one. And that song was really dumb

Fire is one of my biggest fears, this is somewhat difficult for me to watch

I’m so sad for Wells. Why does this show need to humiliate ppl

“Watching another guy go up and rescue the girl of your dreams…it hurts” alright Robby settle down that was slightly pathetic

Why is Grant’s face 7 years old

DO THESE GUYS NOT REALIZE JOJO’S LIFE WAS NOT IN LEGITIMATE DANGER TODAY

I feel weird about Jojo scratching a guy’s neck as she kisses him

Derek is dorky but I’m enjoying it I think

Wells: *laughs about insecurities*

Evan has a kid?!?!?

What the FUCK is Robby wearing

Usually this common mistake doesn’t bother me but Jojo just asked how he did so *good*….it’s well. Well.

Ok Luke and Jojo are kinda cute

Agreed Luke that was a good kiss

Pity rose?? (I’m sorry, Wells)

I love Jojo’s outfits ugh 

Isn’t that the same vintage car Ben drove Caila and Kevin Hart in

What if they chose the opposite answer for every option lol 

South guy is salty

Ew what is that thumb war stop that now

Now I want to go to San Francisco too

Derek is kinda boring

Jojo has pretty hair

It’s becoming clear I like Jojo more than the guys

Stop with that damn song holy

Daniel wishes he was a Chad but unfortunately he is just a vampire

Chad: *calls other guys childish*
Also Chad: *compares guys to protein shakes*

I wonder if Chad would be telling people to chill if his name wasn’t on the date card

Whoever just had their bare ass nasty feet on the coffee table: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I squirmed at the “tell me about your last relationship question” at the casting call…..what the hell do you want me to say

Jojo don’t play dumb, he got cheated on, don’t make him say it

Jordan is playing the Rodgers card

What are the anchor’s shoes

Really embarrassed for these dancing fools currently

Especially Nick

How bout we NEVER use the word “nagging”

I approve of Jordan’s description of his ideal lady

EVERYONE SAY CHAD

Chad is so defensive lol loser

Hard to say whether casting regrets picking Chad or not

“Aaron Rodgers is coming over for turkey! That’s a good Thanksgiving!”

What part of that activity made Chad think he was going to win

Is this a damn joke

James is alright but his tattoo is not

Chad you spent most of your time berating the other guys not ~connecting~ with Jojo

………………yes it’s a joke

How frequently do you think Chad gets his eyebrows done

Whatever James is reading right now is not making me feel the way Jojo is apparently feeling

Nothing bothers me more than a man defining what a woman wants/needs

Jojo’s eye makeup is very a la Britt

“I think that Chad is overcompensating for something but I don’t know what” well I could take a guess

Chad has a Maltese puppy LOL

(The LOL was premature RIP Chad’s mom)

Jojo that sweater makes me nauseous

Chad: I didn’t think I’d actually have feelings for this girl. I thought I was going on Survivor TBH

Jordan is like hey remember when I was a front runner last week

Excuse me Chad what are you up to you weasel

“They’re doing a little power hour. I’m not into that, I’m not in a frat” I’m not gonna lie, I lol’d

Can I get married in Jojo’s dress

AHA so they DO provide food at the cocktail parties!!!

The way to sneak little tricks in like that is to make pals with the producers, and I’m sure that’s exactly what Chad did

I’m really confused by the snow and mittens and fire idk

Chase is v attractive I’m just saying

Damn look at that meat. That’s a lot of meat.

Robby with that side eye

“When you miss a meal and you look like that, it’s detrimental to your progress. So I’ve heard. From him. I wouldn’t know.” QUOTE OF THE SEASON

I accidentally interpreted that part about him eating enough to feed a fifth grade class as he ate an entire fifth grade class

Why would you TP the mansion? I’m offended

Yeah Jojo, tell his ass he can WAIT

Chad is playing the damn game

I forgot Ali was there

Why of all people has Chad found a friend in Daniel

HONESTLY Chad you just HAD to interrupt EVAN, DIDN’T YOU

I’M PISSED TOO, EVAN

#TEAMEVAN

~lurking around the corner~

Alex is like alright go ahead and threaten my teeth bro

Is he seriously still eating during the ceremony

I still don’t get the TP

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I know this is dumb but this episode is what bothers me about the world.

I get that being athletic is attractive to many people, but athleticism does not correlate to masculinity. Let’s not make a plot line about Wells not being able to complete a physical challenge. Remember when they did this to Jared on Kaitlyn's season when he got PUNCHED IN THE DAMN HEAD AND PASSED OUT? There’s a reason we’re not all firefighters or boxers, so I think it’s perfectly fine to not know what the hell to do with 40 pounds of gear on you or when a larger man is swinging at you. Every time someone asks “Is Wells going to be able to continue??” it translates to “Is Wells man enough to stay in the competition??” and it’s bullshit. And I know, he ended up getting a rose after Jojo had a conversation with him, as if to say, “Look! It’s NOT just about the physicality! Personality matters, too!” but it’s really too little too late after you’ve primed a national audience to think less of him after struggling in the challenge. Booooo.

Likewise, lifting weights, consuming nothing but protein, and constantly belittling your peers does not make you MORE masculine. Chad is the embodiment of stereotypical bad qualities in dudes. It’s only been one episode since he’s shown his true colors and I’m already ripping my hair out listening to him mansplain Jojo. It’s amazing how you know what she wants in a guy so well, Chad, after you made it plenty clear that anyone who claims to know anything about Jojo at this point in the competition is lying :-) something to ponder!

Tonight we said goodbye to the Bachelor superfan/human Ken doll, the hipster, and the curly headed dude. Most importantly, Evan is still here, although it looks like he might die at the hands of Chad next week. We’ll see.

Also, there are two episodes on two nights (Monday/Tuesday) next week. Thank you, ABC, for now taking up TWO nights of my week. It’s going to be a long summer.

17 guys remain after week 2: Wells (group date 1 rose), Derek (one on one rose), James T (group date 2 rose), Alex, Christian, Robby, Luke, Chase, Jordan, Grant, Ali, Daniel, James F, Nick, Vinny, Evan, and Chad