Monday, October 5, 2015

Owosso Mastodon: the real OG

So, this week a farmer in Chelsea dug up the bones of a woolly mammoth and everybody lost their shit, because

a) woolly mammoths have been extinct for like 10,000 years and 
b) it’s just really cool to imagine sharing this earth and chillin with such large woolly creatures

Paleontologists from U of M scurried over there as quick as possible to determine they are indeed woolly mammoth remains, and to persuade the farmer to donate the bones to the university’s already expansive collection (don’t worry, he did).

This is big news. It was on multiple national news outlets, and I’m sure the university is pissing their pants with glee that it was found in Chelsea, because honestly, what better nearby location is there to donate it to? (The answer is literally nowhere). And I’m really happy and excited for this woolly mammoth’s 15 minutes of fame. He deserves it. He’s been waiting 10,000 years to be discovered, much longer than the average aspiring star.

HOWEVER

If you’ve ever visited U of M’s Museum of Natural History, you probably get excited about strange things, which means there was an obvious standout exhibit there. And this, of course, is….

THE OWOSSO MASTODON.

That’s right, my friends. A mastodon named after my hometown. Let me just shoot a couple facts about this badass here

a) the Owosso Mastodon is one of the most complete mastodon skeletons ever discovered. EVER (over 95% of its bones in the exhibit are real!)
b) the Owosso Mastodon is a she. What up, lil mama
c) she was found on a farm in Owosso (although technically, the site was in Henderson….people always forget Henderson exists. Sorry, guys.)
d) she was found on my family’s property

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If we back it up a little, the story is not nearly as cool as I wish it was. I wish I could say little kindergarten Lauren was just playing in the backyard one day when I literally tripped over the tusk of a mastodon and then used my Fisher-Price shovel to find the rest of her.

However, my dad wasn’t even born for another 15 years or so when the bones were unearthed. The site is about 2 or 3 miles from our house, and back then, the land belonged to the Borsenik family (our second cousins). Some 50 years later my grandpa and dad bought the land from them and now I bask in totally undeserved fame of the largely unknown Owosso Mastodon.

You want to know the coolest part? Our mastodon was found in Owosso, the woolly was recently found in Chelsea, and other mastodon remains have been found in Perry and Williamston. These creatures liked to march up and down modern day M-52, the road that runs right through all these towns! (Though Williamston is a bit off of M-52….the mastodons that hung out over there probably thought they were too good to hang out by the highway, even though the quality of mastodon stomping ground there was really no different than aforementioned areas….) Can just imagine the mastodons bopping through the towns like “Stomping through 52 with my woes” ????? IT’S SO COOL

So there you have it. Even though woolly mammoths were way more rare than mastodons, and the Chelsea mammoth is a pretty huge discovery and contribution to the university, it’s also important to remember the real OG in this situation: the Owosso Mastodon.

Stay in your lane, Chelsea mammoth.

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