Yes, I am posting this a full week late, because this week has been total chaos/hell/draining in every way shape and form. I guess Welcome Week being the same week as Work Week, as well as Hottest Week of the Summer and Comcast Guy Installs Our Wifi and then Ignores Us When it Doesn’t Work Week, has just made me go a little bonkers. Tbh I think my soul has shriveled up and died and classes don’t even start for another day. Cheers to senior year?
Finally, a week later after you’ve forgotten everything that’s happened, BIP live feed 8/31
——
What even happens when you get stung by a jellyfish
“Juelia put your foot in the toilet” that seems like the worst way to do it tbh
Dan lives in Las Vegas?!?!?!?!
Everyone in the house is more invested in Chelsie picking Dan than their own relationships
Poor Ashley S, no one wants to get mixed up with her
“You are not treating me the way Jesus would treat people”
Finally, a week later after you’ve forgotten everything that’s happened, BIP live feed 8/31
——
What even happens when you get stung by a jellyfish
“Juelia put your foot in the toilet” that seems like the worst way to do it tbh
Dan lives in Las Vegas?!?!?!?!
Everyone in the house is more invested in Chelsie picking Dan than their own relationships
Poor Ashley S, no one wants to get mixed up with her
“You are not treating me the way Jesus would treat people”
“You kinda smell like a brewery” man these two are killing the quote game
Carly’s happiness is infectious ugh
Mackenzie: the sweet, really young mom who loves aliens
When Ashley I tells people she’s with Jared :////
“He looks like a mixture of Ashton Kutcher and Joe Jonas” omg why have I never seen this
“You might be into his face”
Ok I wouldn’t be sad if I was on a date on a boat in Mexico
Still not understanding Dan’s affection for Sam
Wtf does Nick’s bicep say
I feel like at this point so many people are single and the producers know it’s really boring
“Future? Aliens.” Precisely, Mackenzie
“My son’s name is Kale, like the vegetable” :(
WOW I need that teal couch with rainbow pillows! Paradise is decorated pretty well
Why would you pick Justin over Dan? Why
Too bad girls don’t have the roses this week, Amber should just give Ashley S her rose
Jared seriously always looks so unhappy to be in paradise
Jaclyn with her bleached blonde bob and ugly outfit, gtfo
Also Jaclyn is from Ben’s season…..wasn’t that the least popular season ever
Are there crocodiles in Mexico because I’m pretty sure no
“You smell so great I don’t have to worry about myself!” is that how smelling good works?
“We’ve got drugs” oh
This date is on equal levels of weird as the date from Chris’s season when him and Carly did sex yoga
I feel really sad that Mackenzie can’t figure out that “circulo” means “circle”
I’m scared of Justin’s nipples
Knowing that the rope thing is part of a marriage ceremony, it’s actually kind of beautiful?
“Justin is my husband. We’re like Mexican citizens married.” :(
“The welder who can’t form complete sentences, for example, I want nothing to do with” accurate description of Josh
They make it seem like Chris Harrison has been standing in the driveway for the past 5 weeks
Tanner has now compared both Sam and Jaclyn to a black widow
“Never trust a girl with a belly button at age 25+” omg I’m so ashamed that Jaclyn is verbalizing my same thoughts
Jaclyn’s boobs are just baaaaarely keeping it together in that romper
“I JUST HAPPENED TO FIND A DATE CARD WITH MY NAME ON IT” Ashley I is SWOOPING IN ON THAT SHIT
Goodbye Jaclyn get better bronzer
“I would love it if Jared took Ashley I’s v card” ok Tanner calm down
Top 5 funniest segments of the season: Ashley I talking about how nothing about her is fake except her hair, Botox, eyelashes, and bra
——
!!!!!!!!!! Thank god we’ve got a new plot other than Sam. Honestly though, I’m not super interested in the “Ashley I’s virginity” plot because a) I think it’s odd to obsess over a person’s sexual experiences and b) because I truly don’t think Jared sleeps with her. He’s a classy guy. I think.
What I’m more intrigued by is Jade and Tanner. Personally, I think Tanner says that “I can’t give you this rose” line because he gives her an engagement ring instead. Except that doesn’t explain why she’s crying and calling people cowards. Is she possibly crying for one of her friends’ heartbreak? Jade is super super tight with Carly, and we see her crying next week as well….are Kirk and Carly no more, and Jade is just shedding tears for her homie? Hmm…
Is anyone else literally sobbing because the last episode of the season is tonight, which is also the last night of the summer? This is not coincidence. This is a symbol of my life and happiness ending at the same damn time. *~sigh~*
Carly’s happiness is infectious ugh
Mackenzie: the sweet, really young mom who loves aliens
When Ashley I tells people she’s with Jared :////
“He looks like a mixture of Ashton Kutcher and Joe Jonas” omg why have I never seen this
“You might be into his face”
Ok I wouldn’t be sad if I was on a date on a boat in Mexico
Still not understanding Dan’s affection for Sam
Wtf does Nick’s bicep say
I feel like at this point so many people are single and the producers know it’s really boring
“Future? Aliens.” Precisely, Mackenzie
“My son’s name is Kale, like the vegetable” :(
WOW I need that teal couch with rainbow pillows! Paradise is decorated pretty well
Why would you pick Justin over Dan? Why
Too bad girls don’t have the roses this week, Amber should just give Ashley S her rose
Jared seriously always looks so unhappy to be in paradise
Jaclyn with her bleached blonde bob and ugly outfit, gtfo
Also Jaclyn is from Ben’s season…..wasn’t that the least popular season ever
Are there crocodiles in Mexico because I’m pretty sure no
“You smell so great I don’t have to worry about myself!” is that how smelling good works?
“We’ve got drugs” oh
This date is on equal levels of weird as the date from Chris’s season when him and Carly did sex yoga
I feel really sad that Mackenzie can’t figure out that “circulo” means “circle”
I’m scared of Justin’s nipples
Knowing that the rope thing is part of a marriage ceremony, it’s actually kind of beautiful?
“Justin is my husband. We’re like Mexican citizens married.” :(
“The welder who can’t form complete sentences, for example, I want nothing to do with” accurate description of Josh
They make it seem like Chris Harrison has been standing in the driveway for the past 5 weeks
Tanner has now compared both Sam and Jaclyn to a black widow
“Never trust a girl with a belly button at age 25+” omg I’m so ashamed that Jaclyn is verbalizing my same thoughts
Jaclyn’s boobs are just baaaaarely keeping it together in that romper
“I JUST HAPPENED TO FIND A DATE CARD WITH MY NAME ON IT” Ashley I is SWOOPING IN ON THAT SHIT
Goodbye Jaclyn get better bronzer
“I would love it if Jared took Ashley I’s v card” ok Tanner calm down
Top 5 funniest segments of the season: Ashley I talking about how nothing about her is fake except her hair, Botox, eyelashes, and bra
——
!!!!!!!!!! Thank god we’ve got a new plot other than Sam. Honestly though, I’m not super interested in the “Ashley I’s virginity” plot because a) I think it’s odd to obsess over a person’s sexual experiences and b) because I truly don’t think Jared sleeps with her. He’s a classy guy. I think.
What I’m more intrigued by is Jade and Tanner. Personally, I think Tanner says that “I can’t give you this rose” line because he gives her an engagement ring instead. Except that doesn’t explain why she’s crying and calling people cowards. Is she possibly crying for one of her friends’ heartbreak? Jade is super super tight with Carly, and we see her crying next week as well….are Kirk and Carly no more, and Jade is just shedding tears for her homie? Hmm…
Is anyone else literally sobbing because the last episode of the season is tonight, which is also the last night of the summer? This is not coincidence. This is a symbol of my life and happiness ending at the same damn time. *~sigh~*
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